Cycle #4 will commence, thanks to the progesterone I'm starting today.
I am SO tired of all this. I'm tired of thinking AF is coming, when it's not. I'm tired of thinking I might be pregnant, when I'm not. I'm tired of spending pointless money on HPT's. (at least I had a $3 off coupon for EPT's this week and got a 3 pack for $10). I'm tired of phantom symtoms: the sore boobs, the cramps, the bloating, the cravings and especially the breakouts. I hate taking medication on a daily basis. I hate checking my CM. I refuse to take my temperature, but I don't want to spend the money on OPK's either. I thought this was supposed to be easy - have unprotected sex = get pregnant. At least that's what they teach in school. To think that I spent all that money on BCP's for all those years and I didn't even need them.
The hubby and I talked and we are willing to do anything we can to become pregnant, but if it comes down to it and we can't get pregnant with our own child ... we will not be adopting. I know, I know ... but there are so many kids out there who need a home, right? Well ... I guess we're just selfish like that, and if we can't have our own child, we'd rather not. Yes, I'm starting to reach that bitter stage ... it's going on 7 months and I haven't O'd. Not once. Is it so much to ask????
I just hope that some miracle of fertility treatment will help us at least have a chance. Two more metformin only cycles, then my doctor wants us to move onto clomid ... We'll see what happens. I'm going to be hopeful that something in the next 5 cycles happens because that will be over a year of this trying thing!!
And the one good thing, I guess ... I'm having drinks with some friends this afternoon, planning on enjoying a lovely bottle of champagne on our anniversary in 3 weeks, and hell maybe I'll get nice and drunk on my 30th birthday in a month.
Happy Labor Day!
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I'm saying lots of prayers for you. Keep me posted.
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